SEPTEMBER 11th.

[pre-warning: i may ramble a bit on this one, but i just cant stay quiet any longer!]

dont fucking tell me that shit was al-Qaeda terrorists. i aint fucking buying it geedub.

Tuesday September 11th, 2001 started a little earlier than normal for me. First and foremost due to the fact that i was scheduled for early detention. it was my senior year in high school, and if i wanted to hit all the senior festivities, i had to make sure that ish was complete prior!

i remember clear as day, putting on the final touches as i prepare to hit the front door. my mom currently has her 58 in. tv on in the family room which i'll have to pass on my way out. i then focus on my mother. her mouth agape and eyes-widened, she says to me: "We've Just Been Attacked."

"Who?" I asked.

"The Twin Towers. The United States." She replied, eyes still locked on the tele. As i glance over to the box, i noticed them replaying footage of a plane crashing into the first tower; "Mom, i dont know what that is.. Im running late, i have to go." And i left to school which was, luckily for me, down and across the street.

i was so involved in my own little novela of a life that i didnt even take a moment to let the information that my mother had just given me, soak. once i got to school i remember this girl Tiny was all freaked out and she told one of our campus people that she didnt feel safe and she wanted her mom. i laughed and thought; "what are these people talking about."

finished detention, and off to first period. Shakespeare. Mr. Early. Vietnam Vet. One of the dopest teacher's ive had -to this day. [i remember we'd be in the middle of some Shakespearean tragedy and something must've just at that moment clicked in his brain because he would then proceed to go off into some story about the war and he'd often get misty-eyed. and i thought that was so honest. so real. and i always payed attention in his class. and few others. my friend vanessa called me an ass-kisser. i thought it was funny because she worked hard but wasnt naturally as witty as myself and i knew she just didnt "get it" and was hating. Mr. Early and i had that sort of bond. when he spoke, i listened.]

so i didnt find it odd when he had wheeled the classroom tv towards the middle of the room and had the station set to the news. he started in on what the WTC was, what it did, and what it meant to the United States. and at that point it began to sink in, exactly what we had on our hands here..

Plane Two Crashed. The Pentagon Was Hit. United Flight 93 Crashed.

this shit was all too real now.

whether you wanted to pay attention or not. whether you knew what the WTC was or not. you could not ignore the cries and the despair of our countries people.

and if all of these events weren't confusing enough... i dare say the confusion began.. or, continued, rather.. even more than any of us could imagine.

AFTER THE FACT!

what do you mean George Bush didnt react once he heard the news?

what do you mean our intelligence had prior knowledge that a terrorist event "could" in fact take place at any moment?

what was that about someone placing that memo at the bottom of the pile?

what do you mean it sounded like gunfire/several explosions prior to the buildings collapse?

What The Fuck Is Going On Here?

it was far too much for my brain to fathom. i was a stoner that year my senior year, i lost my best friend in early january, i had a boyfriend, what could i do in any way to help repair what we have already lost? i dont want to say i turned my back on the specifics of the attack, but i certainly tried to focus on something else. i didnt want to believe that our Commander-In-Chief would have ANYTHING to do, or any prior knowledge and didnt do everything short of standing his happy ass, arms outstretched in front of those towers goin down with that shit. [ever heard about the captain of the Titanic, you fuck?]

i was young, and sheltered. and an "Inside job" had yet to have meaning in my life.

years passed, September 11th came and went several times over and, for myself anyway, the immediate heart ache subsided. keep in mind, i am born & raised in Los Angeles and have no ties to New York personally whatsoever. i did often think about the souls involved, but it didnt have to be September 11th for me to do so.

this year September 11th falls on a Saturday. who's to know for sure that this time around it wouldnt come and go the same as the year prior? however, i am at work hosting a "Latin Business Association" event. i work in downtown Los Angeles, on the 45th floor of one of the tallest buildings in LA. ive got several republican and democrat candidates coming in for interviews and i remember asking myself yesterday if that was yet my wisest decision. almost 10 years later, the fear of being in a high-rise, being attacked with no where to go, it fucking resonates with me.

i sign onto my twitter and start reading tweets from people who live and Lived in New York at the time. how it affected their lives and how it still affects them to this day. Yahoo had some "Iconic Images" from it.

i have to admit as well.. up until today, it is RARE for me to even look at a photo from that day. you would have never caught me YouTube-ing "Loose Change." i knew in my soul something was not right about that shit but i just let it be. today i now feel i could ignore it no longer. im fucking SICK about this. im fucking SICK at what George Bush led our country into after these so-called "Terrorist Attacks." Terrorism, yes. al-Qaeda, maybe. but no where, at no time did President Bush mention that the terrorists could be so close to home. and one of us, no less.

now i dont know what the motive behind picking that location was exactly, but im sorry, that shit looked like an inside job to me. hearing the recollection of living through that horror from survivors; they ALL have said; "it sounded like a series of explosions prior to the buildings collapse." now could that have been the buildings infrastructure giving way? maybe. could it have been a series of bombs going off at the building core? that is a very likely scenario in my book.

with all this being said; keep in mind folks; WE the people, voted for this man to be the leader of our world. [the details of his "election" are another topic altogether friends,] but he continued as our president for the remainder of that term, AND then was elected again?? shame on us for believing -after the living proof of what his plans indeed were [the taking of oil, sending our men and women to war, separation of religion, etc.], that he could amend those wrongs and somehow alleviate the loss that so many Americans had since been living with. none of us knew prior to September 11th, 2001 just exactly how President Bush would run the country, but AFTER September 11th, 2001 you better be DAMNED SURE i would never vote for a motherfucker with the last name Bush again. who did, anyway? how did it take us till 2010 to elect a Black President of the United States?? i digress.

seems like as far as our country has come, and as much as it has overcome.. we are still behind in a lotttttttttt of ways.

i chose the header pic on purpose. at this point, we have all seen images of people jumping out of the buildings!!!! we have all seen the twin towers collapsing as thousands of ash covered passers-by ran for their lives!!!!!! do we really need another image burned in our brains of something that those who lived through it will NEVER forget??

this post is dedicated to all the souls that were lost and even present that day. all the parents and children and family members who just thought it was going to be another tuesday at the office. all the men and women who gave their lives even if it meant only saving ONE other person's life. all the people who could do nothing but sit there and watch in horror as so many people died. all of you that still survive. the families that lost and are still grieving. and to all the rest of us. in California. in Idaho. in Nebraska. this tragedy affected us as well. and perhaps not directly, but still affected. still healing.

i dont believe in wishing anyone harm, but if it is to come to light that said former operating chief had any prior knowledge, or his hand in any way involved... may he truly be returned home where he belongs once his time on earth is up... Satan's got a special spot in Hell for his most accomplished minions.

FUCK YOU GEORGE W. BUSH.

signed,

j.