goodbye my almost lover

here's to the good times babe. Xx.

there are few things harder on a woman's heart than losing [one of] the loves of her young life. sad news [for myself, eh] to report in the world today. my former ex-lover Mr. Orlando Bloom is officially Off The Market. sadface to the 27th power!

apparently hes been dating some "model" named Miranda Kerr [ruff] for the past 4 years or somethin [not important] and as of sometime last month they secretly tied the knot. well friends, that little hussy wasted no time at all. sources close to me [teh interwebz] go on to say Ms. Kerr is already with child. Ughhhhhhh. at least she's gonna get fat- then the jask shall have her reign!

all jokes aside, good for them and congrats! Lord, if you are going to take him away from me can you at least make it someone hotter than myself? Check! She is friggin smokin and his body is like liquid fiyahh. can you even imagine what their children would look like? ouch. in a totally good way of course! but on a for real tip, i've said my goodbyes. because we all know this little minx doesnt mess with no other woman's goods. sorry DILF- baby mama drama, um no. so, good for you both for finding love in this crazy shithead-infested world we're livin in! kisses and best wishes and all that mushy crap.

i still have my dreams... and No One can take that away from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

seriously tho, how HAWT are these two??? DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG!